Praise the LORD Praise the LORD....
Good news is that i have not a scratch....
Bad news is that i totalled the Jeep and the car i hit (my fault...gah!) in a near head on colision at 45 miles per hour yesterday...
It was really stupid and very scary. Praise the LORD i saw the other car the instant before we hit so that i was able to brace myself like none other...otherwise i would have definately smashed my head on the glass and been rocked around more. My neck and shoulders are killing me...killing me. But luckily i'm in a medical study this weekend where i will be taking hydrocodone and cough syrup...yes!
Jeep Cherokees are like tanks...THe other car looked like it hit a Semi trailer or something, i am so lucky to have been in that car.
I was supposed to be running, i run to work everymorning to save Josh and I gas money...but Friday I just so happened to be able to use the car...man i wish i had run that day. I'm not sure why it happened, accidents come and go...but i have learned alot, things that i needed to know and i needed to believe
For one The Loy family expressed their already present love for me in such a tangible way. Greg, Von, Aaron, Meg and even Tiana were all in the waiting room...even though i was totally going to be fine. Their support and forgiveness, compassion and love was overwhelming. I have definately struggled with feeling like i fit in...getting married is like getting a second family and i was so afraid that i was more trouble than i am worth (especially after wrecking one of their cars) but i learned that i am accepted and seen for my value and worth as just being me and nothing else...
And secondly i saw the unquenchable love that Josh has for me...He ran several blocks to make it to the ambulance before they drove off with me...He waited, He paced, He made phone calls, He prayed, He reassured me over and over that He wasn't mad and that cars are no big deal. Through all the 911 calls, answering questions, helping the other driver, getting x-rays and signing papers...i couldn't cry until i was with Josh. Later when we got in the car, the poor guy finally lost it. It is so scary to think about loosing the one that you are ready to spend forever with. Through his tears I put aside my insecurity and fear that he could ever stop loving me, or be annoyed with me to the point of falling out of love with me...those are silly lies that i am so ready to grow out of...It's time to start believing, and i do now...I am so deeply loved and cherished by Josh, I am precious to him...i really needed to start living like i believed
This is also a truth about the Lord that i really struggle with...believing and living like i am loved...not trying to earn his love...so if nothing else through this car accident i am waking up to the realization of truth that i already knew, but wasn't living. My Lord created me precious, there is nothing i have to do or can do to earn his love. He has also placed people in my life who exemplify this same kind of love...amaazing!!
Please pray that the soarness will go away...all my joints and muscles feel very very banged up. I am probably at like a number 8 or 9 on a 1-10 pain scale. 5 weeks till wedding day...my God can do ANYTHING!!
| 
